I’ve always been a big believer in taking some time after a relationship to understand what went wrong, what you really want/need in a partner, and hell, because being single can be fun. Not that I advocate sitting around in your pajamas, eating Ben & Jerry’s while polishing off a bottle of Pinot Noir after a break up, but I always thought rushing into anything after a break up wasn’t the best idea. I guess I was wrong.
There is a saying, “the best way to get over someone is to get under somebody else.” Apparently science is starting to back this up. Researchers at City University of New York and the University of Illinois found that those who do move on quickly are in fact emotionally better-off.
Claudia Brumbaugh, Department of Psychology, Queens College, City University of New York, said: ‘In two studies we examined people who experienced a breakup and assessed their well-being, their feelings about their ex-partner, and whether they were seeing someone new…Among those in new relationships, the speed with which they began their relationship was associated with greater psychological and relational health…Overall, these findings suggest that rebound relationships may be more beneficial than typically believed.’
I think I was always influenced by Sally (in When Harry Met Sally) when she said, “He just met her. She’s supposed to be his transitional person. She’s not supposed to be the one!”
Are You Dating a Grown Ass Man?+comment
When you spend the night at his place, it doesn’t feel like camping. His sheets are (reasonably) clean, there’s (gasp) toilet paper and (double gasp) fresh towels in the bathroom, and there’s something in the fridge other than beer. She’s the cheerleader, not the coach.