We dated the Zeros… so you don’t have to.


Ultimate Literary Romantic Hero? or Total Zero? You decide


Year after year Jane Eyre’s Mr. Rochester is voted the #1 most romantic hero in literature. I’ve always had a preference for Mr. Darcy – I’m drawn to the banter and subtle satire of Austen more than the brooding drama of the Brontes – but I do get the appeal of Rochester. He’s tortured, passionate, complicated, and even post-maiming, exudes an attractive manliness that is truly swoonworthy.

Love in the face of huge obstacles is a powerful narrative, but does that mean that we’d actually like our love lives to be so full of drama? For some of us, the answer is a resounding yes. We may not like to admit it, but many of us are drawn to drama like a madwoman drawn to scissors. But just because a character is the model for our fantasies,  would that make him a model boyfriend? Here are a few reasons Mr. Rochester might not be so great in reality.

1. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t ‘ward’ just a polite word for illegitimate child? I suppose it is honorable that he didn’t abandon her all together and I understand that society’s rules were very different back then, but who the hell is the mother, and why doesn’t she have any roll in the girl’s life? Does he have a habit of bedding down random women? Is he actually a manslut? Call me old fashioned, but it is just too much baby mama drama... (cont'd)

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