We dated the Zeros… so you don’t have to.

17
February

6 More Signs He Wants to Be More Than Just Friends

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I have a friend from college – she’s beautiful, kind, hardworking, bubbly – men love her. In fact, I can’t go out with her without men stopping in their tracks to approach her, give her their number, comment on her beauty, etc.  - yeah, it’s a little annoying.  It wouldn’t be such a problem if my friend had better boundaries, or was more clued in when a guy was totally smitten with her.  I remember meeting several guys that thought they’d been on dates with her, and when I asked her about it, she just shrugged indifferently and said, “no, we’re just friends.”  It happens to men and women a lot – that weird place of friendship with the opposite sex. Before you know it, other friends and family are starting to ask what’s going on and the girl is trying to figure out “are we more than just friends?” Before the guy slips dangerously into the friend zone –  when the woman has no sexual attraction to her guy “friend”, but she still really enjoys hanging out with him.  This type of guy is semi-masochistic because he’s prepared to sit and wait for a particularly painful breakup to swoop in, save the day and maybe date/have sex with his secret love for all of 2 months – it’s good to know if he’s harboring more intense feelings.  Sometimes work, college, a social group has allowed this friendship to develop over the years, but before long it may get complicated, and it’s always good to know where you stand.

Common sense would say all of this could be solved with one mature conversation, but we all know that’s not happening. No woman wants to be presumptuous or to make it awkward, and the guy doesn’t want to ruin what he has going on or is afraid of being rejected.  So here are more clues that he wants to be more than just friends:

1. Lingering conversations

For the most part men are succinct beings.  When they want to end a conversation, they end it. If they need information, they get it. They don’t shop, they purchase – so if you’re running into your good “friend” at the coffee shop and 2 hours later you’ve totally discussed your mutual love/anticipation for season 2 of “Game of Thrones” and tons of other inconsequential information, before finally pulling yourself away, he may want to bang you.

2. He Has Epic Phone Conversations with You
I know When Harry Met Sally gave us the idea that men love to sit on the phone having long conversations with women.  This isn’t entirely false, but those guys are the minority.  Mostly it’s because men don’t have the phone experience that women have.  Women gold medal, champion phone talkers – they are MVPs.  Men aren’t even in our league. By the time they’ve figured out it would be wise to have some phone skills with women, it’s too late. It’d be like Kobe playing a pickup match with 6th graders. It’s just not fair. So if this guy has long late-night, endless conversations with you? He’s interested.

3. He’s Always Single

If one of your good guy friends is forever single, and talks to you constantly about your relationships, hook-ups, current boyfriend – then it’s a sign. I, by no means, want to cast men as neanderthal brutes that can’t discuss their feelings and their friend’s relationships – however, the majority of men are just not interested in this sort of minutia. And no one is bashing single people. As a girl who was single a lot – it’s totally cool – but be aware that this continually single guy, that you hang out with, have long conversations with, spend a lot of time with – is still a man. And to think he hasn’t thought of you in that way, is just naive.

4. He Volunteers to Fix Stuff 

Men can fix things – it’s pretty awesome. But no matter what it is, most guys don’t want to check your oil, light your pilot, put up you IKEA shelving that you can’t figure out, give you free software and update your computer, etc.  It’s not that they are selfish or jerks, it’s just most men don’t really want to go out of their way to come over to a girl’s place and move in that armoire she bought of craigslist, or put together her new bedframe. Whatever the project, most ladies figure it out for themselves. A “guy friend” gung-ho to do manual labor desperately wants to prove his sexy manliness and move out of the friend zone and into your vag.

5. He Knows your Family Members

Maybe my family is more on a need-to-know basis, but until things get serious, I don’t think my mom cares what their names are. And while facebook allows us to friend our friend’s family members, it’s not necessarily a common male trait to be buddy-buddy with your sister/mom/dad/etc.  Surely he’s met them at a special occasion, or maybe you brought your best guy friend to a wedding, but trust me if he’s keeping in contact, or asking you “how’s insert-family-member’s-name-that-lives-hundreds-of-miles-away” he’s thinking of you. And if he’s thinking of you, and your family, and everybody’s well-being, chances are his thoughts of you are turning a wee bit racy.

6.  There’s a Lot of One-on-One Time
You guys have your thing, maybe it’s brunch, or running, or indie films – whatever it is, it’s time hanging out with his best friend, the girl.  I knew a girl who always saw those weird, dark indie films with her guy friend. I knew he liked her. She was getting over some dramatic stuff and enjoyed his company, but he was totally smitten.  You could see it, and of course, he was up to see whatever dark, indie film was necessary to make her care more about him.  If you’re carving out a set time/friend ritual with  your single guy friend – then someone probably has feelings involved.

 

Once again, men are unique creatures, and these are fairly broad and general. However, due to the response of our original article 6 Signs He Wants To Be More Than Just Friends, it seemed to be something women want to know.  And after seeing a few friends actively deny that their guy friend harbored a crush, that was blatantly obvious to the rest of us, I felt it was worth giving more signs.  But good luck. If you can fall in love with a best friend, that’s an awesome place to be.

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