7 Songs You Didn’t Realize Promote Stalking, Possible Pedophilia and General Creepiness7comments
There would be far less great songs without people falling in and out of love, and just general love turmoil. And I understand that lyrics can be meaningful, profound, or poetic or possibly silly, simplistic, or an easy rhyme. Yet somewhere along the way these songs’ lyrics got a little off track. They seem to say it’s okay to have pedophile tendencies, or I’m one haircut away from becoming that chick from Single, White, Female as long as it’s put to a catchy tune. Here are 7 songs that I think promote some deep-seeded pedophilia, stalking tendencies and overall creepy behavior.
1. “We Belong” – Pat Benatar
I’m the first to admit I love a little Pat Benatar female empowerment, and I’ve certainly sung “Heartbreaker” at karaoke more than once. However “We Belong” creeps me out. At first it sounds like a tragic romance “Many times I’ve tried to tell you, many times I’ve cried alone/Always I’m surprised how well you cut my feelings to the bone” Okay, I’m on board. I feel for poor Pat and some guy who hurt her. But with “close your eyes and try to sleep now, close your eyes and try to dream… I hear your voice inside me, I see your face everywhere.” I think she’s got him tied up somewhere while she’s in some vodka-vicodin haze while she self mutilates herself and then him. Either way, Pat has some issues.
2. “Pretty Young Thing” – Michael Jackson
Maybe I’m biased by what we “allegedly” know about the late Michael Jackson. Either way, I think he was giving us all some serious clues about his love of young children with this song. He’s not hiding how young he wants his pretty young things by repeating “you need some lovin’/tender lovin’ care/ I’ll take you there.” Let’s not forget the grunting, heavy breathing, and the little Elmo voice at the end. What? Yes, super creepy.
3. “Sexual Healing” – Marvin Gaye
I used to think was a super sexy song. Apparently Marvin was totally in the mood to bone… “hot just like an oven/I need some lovin/I can’t hold it much longer/It’s getting stronger and stronger.” Marvin wasn’t really into subtlety. It’s only as an adult that I was less than thrilled by this song. Basically, I’m supposed to imagine Marvin Gaye coming home at 2am reeking of booze and weed, pushing his girl’s shoulder while slurring “get up, get up, get up, get up – let’s make love tonight/wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up – ‘cos you do it right” – because nothing is sexier than a cokehead forcing sex on you while you sleep?
4. “Caught Up in You” – .38 Special
This song makes me think of 80’s sex-romp comedies and movie montages. Then I listened to the lyrics, and it just sounds like another singer/songwriter totally hot for an inappropriately aged girl. I’m not saying a guy can’t be madly in love, I just don’t know guys that called their women “little girl” over and over again. “So caught up in you, little girl/You’re the one that’s got me down on my knees/So caught up in you, little girl/That I never want to get myself free.”
5. “All My Life” – K-Ci & JoJo
I had many a slow dance moment to this song, but it was only when I listened to it recently that I thought, why did no one tell me this song sounds incestuous? The first line “I will never find another luva sweeta than you” is sweet and sexy and helping me enjoy my standing, swaying slow dance. But then it gets weird, really fast. After K-Ci and Jojo find a luva as sweet as me, then “I’m close like a mother, ..sister… father… brother.” Do what? That dance just took a whole new turn to creepy, and that’s too much to handle for a 3 minute slow dance.
6. “Little Girls” – Oingo Boingo
This song doesn’t hold any punches. They like little girls and aren’t afraid to show it. With lyrics like “I love little girls they make me feel so good/I love little girls they make me feel so bad/When they’re around they make me feel/Like I’m the only guy in town/I love little girls they make me feel so good” They really go for it with their last verse which basically says – oh yeah, this is past inappropriate and now it’s criminal. “Uh oh take a second take/Uh oh it’s a mistake/Uh oh I’m in trouble/Uh oh the little girl was just to little/Too little, too little, too little” And the video is beyond bad. I know it’s the 80’s but why is he singing to little people and one that looks striking like a young Peter Dinklage?
7. “Hell is for Children” – Pat Benatar
While I don’t want to bag on Pat Benatar, this one is just so odd and bizarre I had to mention it. It sounds like Pat had a traumatic childhood, or at least someone did because continually belting out “Hell, hell is for hell/ Hell is for children” isn’t about kids with stable parents. While I commend that she was shining a light on the suffering of abused children, why is hell for children. I feel very confident that it’s not.