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July

7 Songs You Didn’t Realize Promote Stalking, Possible Pedophilia and General Creepiness

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There would be far less great songs without people falling in and out of love, and just general love turmoil.  And I understand that lyrics can be meaningful, profound, or poetic or possibly silly, simplistic, or an easy rhyme. Yet somewhere along the way these songs’ lyrics got a little off track.  They seem to say it’s okay to have pedophile tendencies, or I’m one haircut away from becoming that chick from Single, White, Female as long as it’s put to a catchy tune.  Here are 7 songs that I think promote some deep-seeded pedophilia, stalking tendencies and overall creepy behavior.

1. “We Belong” – Pat Benatar
I’m the first to admit I love a little Pat Benatar female empowerment, and I’ve certainly sung “Heartbreaker” at karaoke more than once.  However “We Belong” creeps me out. At first it sounds like a tragic romance “Many times I’ve tried to tell you, many times I’ve cried alone/Always I’m surprised how well you cut my feelings to the bone” Okay, I’m on board. I feel for poor Pat and some guy who hurt her.  But with “close your eyes and try to sleep now, close your eyes and try to dream… I hear your voice inside me, I see your face everywhere.” I think she’s got him tied up somewhere while she’s in some vodka-vicodin haze while she self mutilates herself and then him.  Either way, Pat has some issues.

2. “Pretty Young Thing” – Michael Jackson
Maybe I’m biased by what we “allegedly” know about the late Michael Jackson. Either way, I think he was giving us all some serious clues about his love of young children with this song.  He’s not hiding how young he wants his pretty young things by repeating “you need some lovin’/tender lovin’ care/ I’ll take you there.” Let’s not forget the grunting, heavy breathing, and the little Elmo voice at the end. What? Yes, super creepy.

3.  “Sexual Healing” – Marvin Gaye
I used to think was a super sexy song. Apparently Marvin was totally in the mood to bone… “hot just like an oven/I need some lovin/I can’t hold it much longer/It’s getting stronger and stronger.” Marvin wasn’t really into subtlety.  It’s only as an adult that I was less than thrilled by this song. Basically, I’m supposed to imagine Marvin Gaye coming home at 2am reeking of booze and weed, pushing his girl’s shoulder while slurring “get up, get up, get up, get up – let’s make love tonight/wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up – ‘cos you do it right” – because nothing is sexier than a cokehead forcing sex on you while you sleep?

4.  “Caught Up in You” – .38 Special
This song makes me think of 80’s sex-romp comedies and movie montages.  Then I listened to the lyrics, and it just sounds like another singer/songwriter totally hot for an inappropriately aged girl. I’m not saying a guy can’t be madly in love, I just don’t know guys that called their women “little girl” over and over again. “So caught up in you, little girl/You’re the one that’s got me down on my knees/So caught up in you, little girl/That I never want to get myself free.

5.  “All My Life” – K-Ci & JoJo
I had many a slow dance moment to this song, but it was only when I listened to it recently that I thought, why did no one tell me this song sounds incestuous?  The first line “I will never find another luva sweeta than you” is sweet and sexy and helping me enjoy my standing, swaying slow dance. But then it gets weird, really fast.  After K-Ci and Jojo find a luva as sweet as me, then “I’m close like a mother, ..sister… father… brother.” Do what? That dance just took a whole new turn to creepy, and that’s too much to handle for a 3 minute slow dance.

6.  “Little Girls” – Oingo Boingo
This song doesn’t hold any punches. They like little girls and aren’t afraid to show it. With lyrics like  “I love little girls they make me feel so good/I love little girls they make me feel so bad/When they’re around they make me feel/Like I’m the only guy in town/I love little girls they make me feel so good” They really go for it with their last verse which basically says – oh yeah, this is past inappropriate and now it’s criminal.  “Uh oh take a second take/Uh oh it’s a mistake/Uh oh I’m in trouble/Uh oh the little girl was just to little/Too little, too little, too little” And the video is beyond bad.  I know it’s the 80’s but why is he singing to little people and one that looks striking like a young Peter Dinklage?

7.  “Hell is for Children” – Pat Benatar
While I don’t want to bag on Pat Benatar, this one is just so odd and bizarre I had to mention it.  It sounds like Pat had a traumatic childhood, or at least someone did because continually belting out “Hell, hell is for hell/ Hell is for children” isn’t about kids with stable parents.  While I commend that she was shining a light on the suffering of abused children, why is hell for children.  I feel very confident that it’s not.

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7 Responses to “7 Songs You Didn’t Realize Promote Stalking, Possible Pedophilia and General Creepiness”

  1. July 19, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    Don’t forget that the last two lines of ‘Sexual Healing’ are:

    Please don’t procrastinate
    It’s not good to masturbate

    Just sayin’

  2. Claudia Maittlen-Harris July 19, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    See! That song is creepy! I get that it has a good slow hook and everyone sings along thinking it’s cool and sexy, but it grosses me out! It upsets me enough to use way too many exclamation points above.

  3. Megan Gray July 19, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    Though really old, the ultimate pedophile ditty has to be ‘Young Girl’. It isn’t even in code. He’s telling the little girl she better run. I hope she listened!

    Young girl, get out of my mind
    My love for you is way out of line
    Better run girl,
    You’re much too young girl

    So hurry home to your mama
    I’m sure she wonders where you are
    Get out of here
    Before I have the time
    To change my mind

  4. July 20, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    Yeah Oingo Boingo should be #1 on this list (if it was in order). That video is totally creepy with clearly Peter Dinklage’s dad or uncle with a porn ‘stache. “Two way mirror” line is creepy too.

    Where the hell do you come up with this stuff CMH?

    You might have to do a rap version of this topic, I’m sure there’s some creepy rap lyrics out there:

    Eazy E – Gimme That Nut
    Too Short – Cocktales

    Pretty raunchy stuff.

  5. Claudia Maittlen-Harris July 20, 2011 at 10:51 pm

    Thank you Ara for giving me post ideas! I come up with this b/c I buy an old K-Ci&JoJo song and then it gives me the heebie-jeebies… and I remember all the other songs I found fairly odd. I think I’m a little scared to delve into offensive/creepy rap songs…

  6. June 5, 2015 at 4:38 pm

    Get your stories Straight before you lambast Pat Bentars song “hell is for children”.
    Pat read an article in the paper about abusive parents..
    if you done your research you woulda known this.. and not looked like an idiot

    as for the rest do the songs you lambast.. and the other pat benetar song i disagree . .

    • Claudia Maittlen-Harris July 26, 2015 at 5:26 pm

      Settle down. I wrote “While I commend that she was shining a light on the suffering of abused children, why is hell for children?” And these are my opinions, not facts, opinions. It’s fine if you disagree.

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