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08
November

Are you REALLY a nerd?

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I’m sick and tired of incredibly hot, sexy women claiming to be nerds. I’m not saying that a nerdy girl can’t turn into a cool chick, but most of these faux-nerds are over-sexualized, dim starlets pandering to the real nerd interviewing them (ie. Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno, David Letterman, Craig Ferguson, etc.) Also, if you are 22, stunning, have bought your first million dollar home, have been cast in the mega-blockbuster movie based on a comicbook, and just happen to enjoy a comic book or video game – you are NOT a nerd.

Let’s recap – a nerd is defined (via wikipedia) as an “intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit.”  Okay, so the first part says intelligent – sorry Megan Fox but I think you fail on this one. Anyone with even modest intelligence would not have gotten themselves fired off a massive, multi-million dollar film franchise as the hot girl role for insulting and complaining about one of the most powerful directors in Hollywood.  And the second part is “obsessed with a nonsocial hobby.”  So if I hear one more woman say “I love Star Wars. I’m such a nerd.” I’m going to punch them. Gee, do you like Star Wars?  What? That’s crazy!  You liked a movie that changed a generation, that hundreds of millions of people have seen, that was a box-office phenomenon, that has influenced filmmakers forever, that spawned hundreds of imitators and has become iconic. Did you like that? Really? How very odd of you? You must be in such a nerdy minority.  Next thing you’ll tell me you like cheese, or breathing. Liking a science fiction movie doesn’t make a nerd.  Dressing up as Yoda while camping overnight to see the rerelease of Star Wars while discussing the influence of Joseph Campbell’s writings on George Lucas’ development of Luke Skywalker might make you a nerd.

I’m not trying to be the nerd police.  I just want these hot chicks to be who they are – popular, beautiful women, adolized by millions. Surely that’s good enough. I get that nerd culture is growing rapidly.  As someone whose high school activities were marching band, debate, academic decathalon, and students against drunk driving – I’m I’m fine with that. So here are a few guidelines for true nerdiness.  If you have more than 2 of these, you are not a nerd.

You Are Not a Nerd If:

1. You had sex in high school.

2. You had a girlfriend or boyfriend in high school.

3. You’ve never been to a midnight showing of a movie that you’ve been eagerly anticipating.

4. You played sports competively.

5. You ever worked as a model.

6. You were plucked from obscurity and picked amongst thousands to star in a movie.

7. Your parents are famous.

8.  You threw parties in high school that everyone attended.

9. You didn’t graduate high school with honors, have an excellent GPA or score in the top percentiles on your SATs.

10. You’ve never gotten in a fight over a minute detail regarding your obsession (movie, game, comic book, tv show) with someone.

 

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5 Responses to “Are you REALLY a nerd?”

  1. November 8, 2011 at 9:45 am

    I think this article is based on a flawed premise. The idea that a nerd is “a single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit” is just false. Our hobbies and pursuits are anything but nonsocial. There wouldn’t be so many conventions, bulletin boards, blogs, podcasts and magazines about them if they were. What our interests are is non-mainstream.
    As nerds, we’re actually always looking for a way to connect with each other. We are (or were, in our youth) often ostracized for our interests. As such, we welcome anyone who shared them into our ranks. If “incredibly hot, sexy women” share those interests, they’re as welcome as anyone else.
    The article seems to paint “nerd” as an exclusive club with strict guidelines for entry. The opposite is true. Nerds are inclusive. If you honestly share a love for the nerdier things, we’re pretty accepting.
    That is the one caveat I would add. The love has to be genuine. If you really do love Star Wars, if you really play Warcraft or D&D, if you really read comics, then you’re in, be you actress, supermodel, star athlete, or astrophysicist. If you just say you do to sell a few more movie tickets to your godawful giant robot movie, then please stop.

    • Claudia Maittlen-Harris November 8, 2011 at 3:01 pm

      I didn’t mean to make nerds sound exclusive. You’re right, if a nerd finds someone with their similar interests, they have an instant connection And yes, these interests are fairly mainstream – but usually moreso as adults than as children. For me it’s that these starlets probably shunned the nerds at school (if they even finished high school) or wouldn’t let them sit at their cafeteria table – but will go on tv and say they love things that are frankly quality things, and thus say “I’m such a nerd.” What’s amazing to me is that it’s become a cool thing to say? Ah, the irony.

  2. November 8, 2011 at 9:55 am

    Yes yes and more yes.

  3. Megan Gray November 8, 2011 at 11:10 am

    Fair enough. Though we stood in line for Lord of the Rings for hours (with cake!) with the dude who had made his own chainmail, I did not go home and endeavor to start my own chainmail project for the Two Towers release. Which shows lack of commitment on my part. Also, I have three on the list, so I will not claim nerd-dom.

  4. October 24, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    Who cares? Megan Fox is f***ing hot!!!!!!!!!

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