Are you REALLY a nerd?5comments
I’m sick and tired of incredibly hot, sexy women claiming to be nerds. I’m not saying that a nerdy girl can’t turn into a cool chick, but most of these faux-nerds are over-sexualized, dim starlets pandering to the real nerd interviewing them (ie. Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno, David Letterman, Craig Ferguson, etc.) Also, if you are 22, stunning, have bought your first million dollar home, have been cast in the mega-blockbuster movie based on a comicbook, and just happen to enjoy a comic book or video game – you are NOT a nerd.
Let’s recap – a nerd is defined (via wikipedia) as an “intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit.” Okay, so the first part says intelligent – sorry Megan Fox but I think you fail on this one. Anyone with even modest intelligence would not have gotten themselves fired off a massive, multi-million dollar film franchise as the hot girl role for insulting and complaining about one of the most powerful directors in Hollywood. And the second part is “obsessed with a nonsocial hobby.” So if I hear one more woman say “I love Star Wars. I’m such a nerd.” I’m going to punch them. Gee, do you like Star Wars? What? That’s crazy! You liked a movie that changed a generation, that hundreds of millions of people have seen, that was a box-office phenomenon, that has influenced filmmakers forever, that spawned hundreds of imitators and has become iconic. Did you like that? Really? How very odd of you? You must be in such a nerdy minority. Next thing you’ll tell me you like cheese, or breathing. Liking a science fiction movie doesn’t make a nerd. Dressing up as Yoda while camping overnight to see the rerelease of Star Wars while discussing the influence of Joseph Campbell’s writings on George Lucas’ development of Luke Skywalker might make you a nerd.
I’m not trying to be the nerd police. I just want these hot chicks to be who they are – popular, beautiful women, adolized by millions. Surely that’s good enough. I get that nerd culture is growing rapidly. As someone whose high school activities were marching band, debate, academic decathalon, and students against drunk driving – I’m I’m fine with that. So here are a few guidelines for true nerdiness. If you have more than 2 of these, you are not a nerd.
You Are Not a Nerd If:
1. You had sex in high school.
2. You had a girlfriend or boyfriend in high school.
3. You’ve never been to a midnight showing of a movie that you’ve been eagerly anticipating.
4. You played sports competively.
5. You ever worked as a model.
6. You were plucked from obscurity and picked amongst thousands to star in a movie.
7. Your parents are famous.
8. You threw parties in high school that everyone attended.
9. You didn’t graduate high school with honors, have an excellent GPA or score in the top percentiles on your SATs.
10. You’ve never gotten in a fight over a minute detail regarding your obsession (movie, game, comic book, tv show) with someone.