We dated the Zeros… so you don’t have to.


Awesome vacation or total nightmare?


A lot of people love traveling on cruise ships. I am not one of these people. All the forced togetherness and planned excursions make me wish for an iceberg right ahead. Granted, I’ve only ever been on a 4-day cruise down the coast of Mexico, but I doubt a longer cruise would make me feel any different.

I get why a lot of older people like it, and I reserve the right to change my mind in my golden years (though maybe by then I can travel by hovercraft. That would be awesome!), but at this point in my life, unless we’re talking about a three hour booze cruise, I’d almost rather stay home.

The other day I saw a commercial for a Disney cruise and thought, “Wow, I can’t imagine a more hideous way to travel”. Disney + Cruise Ship = migraine headache on the high seas. But then reading the travel section of my Flipboard app, I discovered I was seriously wrong. There is, in fact, a much more hideous way to sail that makes the cloying sweetness of Disney princesses seem downright palatable. Ladies and gentlemen, for your cruising pleasure, you can spend your vacation time aboard a Saw themed ship. That’s right, on the Lido deck… Torture porn!

I’ve mentioned a few times that I am not a big fan of the horror genre, and the torture porn subgenre specifically. The idea of spending my vacation on a vessel dedicated to the Saw horror franchise sounds terrifying and spending days trapped with people who would pay to experience Saw in real life even more so. To be fair, I doubt they are actually forcing people into elaborate traps and making them chose between death and chopping off their own arm – I think it is just a chance to mingle with the cast and crew of the films – but still. Horrifying indeed.

So that got me thinking. What would be the absolute worst cruise? For me, the Saw cruise might be on the list, but I started thinking and there are definitely worse. How about a cruise populated exclusively by news pundits? Karaoke with Ann Coulter anyone? Or maybe reality TV cruise, where you have to fight the Real Housewives for a lounge chair. Or… a cruise where the only other guests are your ex boyfriends? Now maybe the Saw cruise isn’t looking so bad.

I put it to you…

A Zeros Before the One Poll

What would be your biggest nightmare on the high seas?

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One Response to “Awesome vacation or total nightmare?”

  1. April 30, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    I have also only taken that 4 day cruise down the coast of Mexico, but that was enough for me. I’m with you, Megan, cruise = snooze. Also, I bet you anything that someone gets murdered on that Saw cruise. Who would go on that? CRAZY.

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