We dated the Zeros… so you don’t have to.


Beware the Bridezilla


It happens nearly every day.  I come home from work and open up my mailbox.  Mixed in with the adverts (recycle bin!), the bills (growl) and the mail that’s addressed to the people who lived here before us (we’ve been here nearly five years), are the wedding mailers.  It never fails.  The second I said “yes” I somehow wound up on seven million mailing lists.  I receive flyers for destination weddings, rings, dresses, clergy, and anything even remotely wedding adjacent.  And that’s not even counting the email.  If I’m on seven million mailing lists, I’m on eleventy billion email lists.

Wedding planning, thus far, has been rather chill.  I’m blessed with a mother and sister who are both incredibly creative and generous with their time.  Together we’ve tackled the dress, the church, the hall, the DJ and the photographer.  Not bad, considering that we did most of this over a long weekend.  We’re currently worrying about more “creative” things like invitations, flowers and centerpieces, but even that is being handled in a relaxed way.

Is my experience atypical?  If some of the bridal websites and blogs that I’ve read are to be believed, I’m doing this whole bridal thing wrong.  I admit to not being a regular user of The Knot or any other wedding message board but when I do visit wedding sites, I can’t help but notice all of the angst being displayed.  Isn’t this supposed to be one of the happiest days of a woman’s life?  I don’t know about every other woman, but “happy” for me does not equal “stressful.”  In fact, I’m at my happiest when I’m not stressed.  So why are we putting so much wedding pressure onto ourselves?  We all like to joke about the “Bridezilla” and her reign of terror, but perhaps we created the very monster that we now must fight against.

It’s easy to get caught up in wedding planning and it’s even easier to fall victim to the drama.  You’re the bride.  It’s your day.  It should be just as special as you want it.  And it really should.  However, when you’re looking back on your life, you’re likely not going to remember the type of font that was on your invitations or whether or not the calligraphy was perfect.  You’re probably not going to care if one of your bridesmaids is wearing her hair up instead or down or if the best man’s tie is a little crooked.  You’ll remember your wedding day as a happy affair when you and your husband were surrounded by your friends and family who were all taking joy in celebrating your love.

Planning any major event, including a wedding, comes with its own special breed of stress.  However, that stress does not have to take over or ruin your life.  Just take a deep breath, remain calm and remember: it really is your day as a couple.  Make it special for you.  A dear friend of mine is in the process of planning her wedding.  She tends to take a more relaxed approach to life and she shared this comment with me: “Wedding websites are my new favorite thing when I want a laugh.  It’s a wedding, not brain surgery!”

Absolutely correct.  So relax, let go and enjoy.  If you’re a huge fan of “Total Eclipse of the Heart” then you should be able to dance to it at your wedding, despite what the wedding blog of the day says.  Life is stressful enough without creating a bridezila. Things will go wrong, but don’t take them too seriously.  You don’t want to waste your wedding day stressing about minute details.  Once it’s gone, you can’t get it back.


Elisabeth Fitzgerald

About the author: Elisabeth Fitzgerald

Elisabeth Fitzgerald is a Chicago born, Los Angeles based writer. In addition to writing fiction and non-fiction, she also works in the entertainment industry. When not holed up with a pen in her hand or a script at her side, she enjoys Tejano music, vintage clothing and tricking herself into exercising with yoga. Her dislikes catalog a number of prominent ZEROS.

Elisabeth has written 63 articles for us.

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