The first rule of text messaging is: there is no text messaging.
The second rule of text messaging is: there is no text messaging.
The third rule of text messaging is: when someone stops replying, starts evading conversations, the messaging is over.
The fourth rule of text messaging is: no more than one thread of conversation at a time.
We chat about Tinder and he makes a good point- that the app is just a game. How many matches can you make, how many points can you score. It has nothing to do with love. Why do you think when you make a match it says,
Send Message Or Keep Playing.
Keep Playing. Good point. It’s all right there in those two words. It’s a good playing field for me because I don’t want a boyfriend, I just like to kick the ball around from time to time. But for others… Maybe this isn’t right.
I change my tagline.
“Toronto girl in Vegas for the week. I like craps. (The game.)”
If you think people have a lot of drinks in their profile pictures in your city, you should see it here. How do dudes even stay sober-ish long enough to still get it up? I make some matches, of which I have a few faves. First fave: the dude who looks like Seth Meyers. (Obvi. How would you NOT swipe right to that?) The second runner up is a dude who looks like a dude, who I really liked.
Before I actually take this guy home basically because he watches The Bachelor, I decide to test him to make sure it’s not just a line. A really, really effective line.
“Soooooo, if you really watch The Bachelor, what’s the Bachelor’s nick name?”
“His name is Chris. Same as the host.”
K, that’s not the answer I was looking for. I was obviously looking for “Prince Farming,” but his answer is still totally acceptable, plus adding in the hosts name proves he’s probably seen more than one season.
“Sorry. I just have to message my roommate and make sure he’s taping The Bachelor.”
WHAT? HE WATCHES THE BACHELOR? WHY AM I SOOOOOO EXCITED RIGHT NOW?
It’s still early. He’s a really awesome guy. And while I don’t usually invite Tinders over to my place, it’s still early. We could actually watch it together. And that way I could bust him if this is just a line he uses with the ladies. (Which clearly works.)
“Well, I really want to watch The Bachelor too. We could always go to my place and watch it…”
It’s actually shocking that I use Tinder on Saturday nights, seeing as how I spend all day watching shows on Slice like Fatal Vows, A Stranger In My Home, See No Evil… basically any show about relationships that end in murder. Maybe it is time to take up The Big Bang Theory…
The second I walk up to him, I have weird vibes. I’m not claiming to be Oda Mae Brown or anything, but I think we all have a little psychic ability in us. Or as normal people call them, instincts. I immediately give up my idea of going to Opera Bob’s on Dundas West, and decide to stay on the subway line for a quick getaway.
Online dating is a big of an enigma. I will admit, every question, problem or concern you have about online dating will not be solved on this podcast. But maybe listening to how an economist would build a profile over just say, your intuition, isn’t a bad thing.
He finally takes off his hat and releases his longish locks. You guys should get some romantic music when you let your hair down too. It doesn’t take long before he reaches for the elastic around his wrist, and ties his hair up into a MAN BUN. He secures the hair into the elastic the same way I would, if I was at the gym, or getting ready for a BJ. There it was… I just saw the making of a man bun right in front of my own eyes.