I’m excited about Amy Schumer’s upcoming movie. She stars in and wrote this comedy with Judd Apatow directing. I’m thrilled that there can be a female equivalent to the Seth Rogan, James Franco, Jason Segal, Jonah Hill team of guys who seem to get anything they write made. No shade to those guys, I just think there just as many funny, smart, talented women whose skills are equal to the guys and deserve the big screen.
Romance Tips From The Bachelor:
Discuss Any Dead Relatives in your Life as Much as Possible
Apparently it’s best to discuss any major trauma, loss of a parent/ex/sibling, suicide, foster care, or any tragic event in your life early as much as possible. It’s also wise to make reference to this dead loved one whenever things are going well or both of you are laughing and smiling. This is an awesome romantic tactic.
Women love this. Is your girl afraid of heights? Make her jump off a building. Deathly afraid of sharks? Then make her swim with them. Is your girlfriend is missing one arm? Then definitely throw her in a roller derby rink and watch her fall down, a lot (that totally happened one season). Possibly drive her to needing emergency care. What woman wouldn’t want this for Valentine’s? Nothing says love like an ambulance ride. People say chivalry is dead. That’s ridiculous. What woman isn’t totally hot for a guy that forces her into doing something she’s fucking scared to death of by dangling the hope of another date in her face?
Pick a show and there is always at least one polarizing person who the majority of viewers hate (think Tierra or Courtney if you’re a Bachelor fan). The viewers that don’t hate them, root for them – especially in the morally corrupt world of reality tv. Let’s recap Kelsey’s crazy behavior by possibly being a woman who milked her husband’s tragic death to kiss the Bachelor and not be sent home. Creepy.
Last Friday the movie Mortdecai, starring Johnny Depp, came out. Although the previews have revealed nothing as to what this movie is about, we know that it sucks. Why? It’s January. But as I lament that my Johnny Depp crush is officially over, I realize how many dates and relationships are really January releases. They sound like a really good idea but end up either completely forgettable, a cringe-inducing story, or just some guy’s name where your best friend says “Remember so-and-so?” and you make a really uncomfortable face.
Sadly I have to wait until April 21, 2015 for new episodes of Inside Amy Schumer. If you haven’t watched comedian Amy Schumer’s sketch show on Comedy Central, I highly recommend it. It’s funny, outrageous and smart. Until then, I’ll leave you with some wise words from this incredibly talented and funny woman!