Yeah, I just told a 15 year old move to fuck off. I’m not afraid. I’ve often blamed that movie for a very long, painful relationship of mine. Okay, I give it a little blame, and my ex and I take most of it. But there are a couple of totally crazy ideas in Jerry Maguire that my young, innocent self once took for romantic, that I now see as insidious.
I was guilty of ignoring the bad and focusing on the good and making her into a vision of perfection in my mind, rather than seeing her as the crazy person sitting next to me on my couch. Thanks to text archives and saved e-mails, I can look back on this relationship with a more primary-source-based focus.
Most women I know are not eager to share her number, and I’m no different, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m ashamed of it. Sure, there are guys I look back on with embarrassment, but I can’t say I look back with regret. As anyone who’s ever seen any time-travel movie knows, you can’t go back and change one thing without risking changing everything else (also time travel isn’t real, so it’s all a moot point anyway).
This kind of internet moxie gets hits, and boy did it. In just 5 months, her site had gotten 2 million hits and she’d paid off her debt. This led to her first book, “Save Karyn: One Shopaholic’s Journey to Debt and Back.” Now Karyn is back, but this time in fiction. She wrote “20 Times a Lady” which has been adapted to the screen as What’s Your Number opening this weekend starring Ana Faris and Chris Evans.
Have you ever seen a guy and thought to yourself, “He has so much potential! If only he didn’t dress like he was still in high school, live with his mother, or play video games 5 hours a day, etc… he’d be perfect”? You may think you’re doing the guy a favor by helping him improve, but think about it… would you like someone to come in and tell you that you could be great if only you lost weight, changed how you dress, stopped hanging out with some of your friends, or didn’t watch the guilty-pleasure TV that gives you actual pleasure?
To begin, this requires some mental time travel back to the last James Bond movie. I’d already forgotten the name, so I had to look it up…it was called Quantum of Solace. Already off to a bad start I know, but I love action movies, so of course I saw the movie twice. The first time I thought it was kind of awesome, though clearly not awesome enough for me to remember anything about it three years later. The second time I saw it was with a girl I rather fancied, and right about 40 minutes into the movie, I suddenly realized my great error in having endorsed the movie in the first place. Apparently, this movie was a good bit more misogynistic then I might have previously observed. Strike one probably came way earlier than this, but I definitely noticed my date’s almost electrified body language right about the moment of the super-obvious, big screen vagina shot that I somehow failed to notice on my first viewing.
Nice guys don’t always finish last, but they often come in 4th place. Nobody remembers 4th place, they don’t even make a medal for that. So on behalf of women who have regretfully dumped or used a nice, good guy, I’m really sorry.
It is considered pretty much general knowledge that when it comes to the penis, size does matter. That being said, I know very few ‘Samtha’s who’d actually break up with a guy if his penis didn’t measure up to her expectations. When it comes to first contact, most women hope for the best and then work with what they get.
Size is not the only consideration when it comes to penile aesthetics. Some are straighter, some are veinier, and of course, some are circumcised and some aren’t. There’s a lot of talk in our culture about penis size, but less so about foreskin.
So many movies live in our memories. Our impression of them is clouded by where we saw them, who we were with, and what we were going through at the time. I’ve found that often when I re-watch movies I loved growing up, they don’t hold up to the memory I have of said awesomeness. [...]