We dated the Zeros… so you don’t have to.

The Verbal Masturbator

[oralivis beat-offitum]

This species spends most of his time with others talking only about himself. Believing his every move is important and must be regaled,  and do so, loudly and repeatedly, especially to the woman he believes so lucky to be his date.  His unique hearing seems to only be able to discern accolades and the sound of his own voice above everything else.