How to make FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS work+comment
On Monday, Claudia asked all of you your opinion on whether or not the whole Friends With Benefits thing can actually work. The consensus was pretty much ‘no’, with a couple of ‘not reallys’ thrown in for good measure.
I’m curious how differently the poll would have turned out if it had been on a dude site (not to say that we don’t have some wonderful male readers, but you know what I mean). Friends With Benefits is one of those ideas that sounds good in theory, but doesn’t really work in real life for the majority of people. Like communism. And jeggings.
The movie Friends With Benefits opens today. I will not be seeing this movie (though Claudia might). Nor did I see No Strings Attached. But I’m going to venture to guess that both films end with the two people who were attempting the FWB scenario falling in love and entering into a committed relationship. See? Even Hollywood can’t find a way to make it work. In fact, Mila Kunis herself finds the entire concept as flawed as we do, “It can’t last very long, because ultimately somebody will get feelings.”
However. I think I’ve figured out the key to making the Friends With Benefits thing work in the real world. So wait… I’m saying you can totally have sex with a friend without either of you getting your feelings hurt, and you can do this indefinitely? Seriously? I am! There is, of course, a catch. One of the ‘benefits’ in your Friends With Benefits scenario has to be commitment. Wah wah. I know, that was super cheaty. But I ask you, since when did we start considering a commitment to the person we like and are attracted to a drawback?
As corny as it sounds, when you find the right person for you, that person will actually be your friend. I’m not saying he has to start as a friend, but he certainly will become so. And when you’re with someone you genuinely like, and also think is super sexy, isn’t the fact that this person chooses to be with you (and only you) the ultimate benefit?