We dated the Zeros… so you don’t have to.


Love Don’t Cost a Thing. But Kim Kardashian’s marriage cost a ton.


When it comes to price shopping on clothes, here’s how you should calculate the true cost of the item. Take the price (including taxes) and divide it by the number of times you wear it. Of course, you can’t necessarily know how many times you’ll wear something when you buy it, but often you can get a good idea. For example, when buying an expensive pair of black boots the price tag may seem exorbitant, but if they are of good leather and classic design, you can get several years worth of fall/winter wearings. In the end, they may be ‘cheaper’ than a cheaply made trendy boot bought from Target.

Taking this idea of cost per day as actual cost, I was particularly repulsed at the true cost of Kim Kardashian’s wedding. It comes as a surprise to no one that the ‘fairy tale’ wedding (i.e. disgusting display of excesses) between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries came a mere 70ish days before their divorce. So using my calculations, Kim’s $10 million wedding means their marriage cost roughly $138,889 per day. When you look at those numbers, the quickie elopements/divorces/annulments of Britney S. and Co seem downright responsible. Sadly, this wasn’t the cost to Kim or her family. In fact, the entire debacle will end up being a bit of a cash cow for Kardashian Inc. They were paid by E! for the rights to air the wedding, by the nightclub that hosted their bachelor/bachelorette parties, and were given a reported $1.5 million for the magazine rights to their wedding pictures.

Kim and Kris’ wedding was a grotesque display of waste even without the quickie divorce. With it, the whole enterprise becomes clearer. This was not a marriage. This was a show. A ten million dollar production sponsored by Vera Wang, Toa Nightclub in Vegas and all the other vendors who participated in return for product placement. E! was the executive producer, and Kris Humphries and the entire Kardashian clan were the talent. (Yes, I did just throw up in my mouth a little by using the word ‘talent’ to refer to any of these people). I wonder if this was the plan all along, or if she’s at all embarrassed that they couldn’t keep up the charade a little longer for the sake of propriety? Perhaps, now that her E! Wedding special has aired, was there just nothing left to be gained financially from the union (after all, no one can accuse of her of not being business savvy) but if getting paid to have sex with someone is called prostitution, what do we call someone who gets paid to marry someone? Apparently… a Kardashian.

Kim’s wedding was said to be one of the most expensive ever. Certainly, using my clothing/cost equation as applied to wedding/number-of days-married, it has to go down in history as the most expensive marriage per day. But Kim is not alone… here are a few other really expensive days of wedded bliss/amiss.

Melissa Rivers & John Endicott – Now I couldn’t find any numbers attached to their lavish wedding, but considering Joan walked down the isle to ‘Hey Big Spender’, I think it is fair to say it cost a pretty penny. The marriage lasted a respectable (by Hollywood standards) 5 years.


Star Jones & Al Reynolds – I couldn’t find exact figures for this lavish wedding either, but reports are that it cost over a million. Considering their marriage lasted only 2 ½ years, that means their per day was at least $518, though probably more.


Tori Spelling & Charlie Shanlan – Their wedding was only (only!) one million. And since their marriage lasted 15 months, that means the cost of their marriage was roughly $2,222 per day. Clearly not in Kim’s league, but still pretty impressive/disgusting.



Liza Minnelli & David Gest – The dishonor of second most expensive marriage per day goes to Liza and David. Their wedding cost a reported $5 million and lasted roughly 2 years. Which means their per day average was about $6,849.


3 Responses to “Love Don’t Cost a Thing. But Kim Kardashian’s marriage cost a ton.”

  1. November 1, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    Yet the Defense of Marriage act does nothing to address this at all. Good thing the LDS poured all that capital into passing Prop 8….. Couldn’t have gays and lesbians marrying and slowing down the divorce rate….

  2. November 3, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    It’s completely disgusting.

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