Sex, Lies, and Phonographs
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If you’re anything like me, you love yourself some made-for-bbc costume dramas (I’ve even seen the terrible 1995 version of The Buccaneers all the way through. Twice. Netflix had it streaming and I was sick. I’m not proud). I can’t help it. I can’t help wanting to get a touch of consumption and sit on a chaise lounge with a blanket over my lap starring off into the distance, or to stand in a room with no indoor plumbing while across the village a swarthy gentleman chastises his servant with “No, no. The green one.” If you get that last reference (or even if you don’t), I have a treat for you.
(If you’re not like me in this regard, please feel free to make fun of me and ignore this. Monday’s post will not involve corsets in any way, I promise.)
PBS has generously posted all 4 episodes of their excellent new drama Downton Abbey in their entirety. If you haven’t seen it or heard of it, it is sort of an Upstairs/Downstairs meets Pride and Prejudice kind of thing, but set just before WW1. And the good news is that it isn’t based on a novel from a long dead author, so they’ll be free to milk it until it turns into unwatchable maudlin dreck. I will still, of course, watch said maudlin dreck but will feel so guilty that I’ll try to counteract the shame by finally reading Moby Dick or similar. (Season 2 is already in production, woo hoo!).
If, also like me, your DVR decided to be a complete dick and failed to record the first three episodes, this is wonderful news indeed. But don’t delay because the online episodes expire on February 22nd.
Click here to watch the teaser:
Watch the full episode. See more Masterpiece.
Click here to watch the full episodes. Enjoy!
For those of you who own an ipad, PBS has an amazing (and free) app which has these and other full episodes.
2 Responses to “Sex, Lies, and Phonographs”
The Zeros Field Guide
The Ambiguously Gay Guy
[conflictious sexualous or homus streisandticus]
A chameleon-like variety of man which causes confusion and frustration in prospective mates; this species tends toward cleanliness, vanity and an inexplicable love of footwear.
See: Ryan Seacrest
The Manslut
[masculus rakehellious]
A feral variety of the male species, known for copulating with a large variety of females. Indigenous to nightclubs, frat houses, and often found in close proximity to reflective surfaces, this nomad is frequently found in packs of other Mansluts. This animal uses its appearance and charms to lure its prey.
Synonyms: Gonorrhea Boy, Mario Lopez or Colin Farrell.
The Verbal Masturbator
[oralivis beat-offitum]
This species spends most of his time with others talking only about himself. Believing his every move is important and must be regaled, and do so, loudly and repeatedly, especially to the woman he believes so lucky to be his date. His unique hearing seems to only be able to discern accolades and the sound of his own voice above everything else.
The Dead Electrician
[disappearaveatum inexplicti]
A rare breed of males that after spending happy, fulfilling, seemingly normal times with a wonderful woman, disappears off the face of the earth and never calls again. Signs of dead electrician disappearing behavior come in coded messages such as ‘I’ll call you later,’ “Let’s make plans for this weekend,” or “I’ll call you Friday when I’m on my way over.”
The Cheapskate
[dutch-treaticus infinitum]
A variety of male that hordes its resources to the detriment of its mate.
The Mirage
[perfectus prevaricatum]
Projects the image of perfection, luring unsuspecting females to the parched dessert of disappointment and despair.
The Big Talker
[bullshitkus perfectus]
An intuitive form of chameleon, this breed can accurately access the needs of potential mates and will verbalize his intentions to meets these needs. He will meet none of these needs.
The “Nice” Guy
[politea blanditus or pleasantillum lacklustericium]
A common species of man that suffers from delusions of nicety as the reason of their inability to secure a mate. Have an inability to admit to their other characteristics such as needy, boring, insecure, socially awkward or bad in bed.
The Virtual Man
[texticus ad nauseus]
The species creates an impression of closeness called a Virtual Relationship through near constant indirect communication. This specifically modern species of man is known for poor grasp of spelling and grammar, and also known for expressing all feelings through emoticons. Anthropologists suspect this genus will, over time, develop engorged thumbs due to excessive texting and may die out do to no actual physical interactions.
The Little Friend
[minusculis shaftivitum]
A species known for their expensive modes of transport, they are endowed with a penis of inadequate size. While this alone does not make them an undesirable potential mate, it doesn’t help. Often this species will attempt to overcompensate their unfortunately small member with an unfortunately large ego.
The Jockstrap
[sporticus obssesum]
The specific male species so obsessed with a sport, their team, their fantasy football league, fantasy baseball league and sports center updates that they have little time for reproduction or even copulation. Experts recognize this species by the excess hot wing consumption and empty pizza boxes littering their female free abodes. Can often be heard from a distance yelling, screaming or cursing their beloved teams.
The Closeted Addict
[bacanalus coverti]
Known for his ability to ingest large amounts of questionable, and often illegal, substances, while giving little indication of this behavior.
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Couldn’t agree more, Megan.
It’s hard to describe the level of craftsmanship that went into this production. Within the first few minutes of the first episode I knew I’d found a new benchmark for quality television. The material is instantly engaging and although one might expect the show to be too “high brow” for their taste, based on the promo photo alone, the story and the drama are all-inclusive and a full range of human desires, strenghts and frailties are portrayed perfectly by the entire cast. The ONLY thing I didn’t like about the series was Daisy. She drove me nuts.
It’s always a drag waiting for new seasons of my favorite shows. The wait for The Walking Dead’s second season will be exceptionally grinding. However, I never would’ve guessed that Downton Abbey would rise to the top of my list for anticipated returns. It’s so good even Harrison Ford was rumored to offer himself up for a role ( http://www.britishtvguide.com/2011/01/28/harrison-ford-becomes-the-latest-downton-abbey-fan/ ). While I don’t expect that cameo to happen, it just goes to show how good Downton Abbey really is.
Yes, Daisy was a little troublesome, and though I’ve made some bad decisions due to extreme infatuation (see almost any article on the site:)), I hope I’ve never been that clueless.
I’ve been very pleased with the quality of recent British television (Luther and Sherlock in particular), but super annoyed that the British producers seem fine with leaving crazy cliff hangers without knowing exactly when they’ll be back with season 2 (also Luther and Sherlock). So I’m glad episode 4 of DA ended with “Season 2 in production”. I have many many complaints about the way most American shows are made, but at least (unless it gets canceled) you know that a show will come back at the end of the summer.