Shouldn’t We Be Worried that Halloween has become a Slutty Holiday?
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Ah, Halloween is upon us. While it used to be about the ghouls, ghosts and black cats, it seems to be more about women dressing slutty. My older sister was recently shopping for a Halloween costume for her 10-year old daughter and was pretty creeped out by the ‘sexiness’ of young girls’ costumes. As she told me, “No one needs to see that much skin or midriff on my 10-year old.” And I agree. Actually, everyone should agree. In fact, it makes me mad to think anyone a) makes these sexy young girl costumes and b) parents buy them. When did Halloween become a ‘let the sluts come out’ night? It seems in the last 10 years, scary or clever morphed into slutty. I think it says something about where things are going in terms of women in the media and their portrayals. I think this has been influenced by sex tapes and reality tv of girls running around in bikinis, fighting, drinking and just an over sexualization of women in general.
I’m not trying to be Debbie Downer, and normally, if grown women want to run around as a slutty angel or a slutty cowgirl, I don’t care. But when it’s marketed towards young, impressionable girls that I’m related to – I care. Growing up and even into high school, girls wanted fun, clever costumes. I remember a girl in middle school was a rubix cube for Halloween, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. She’d made this huge box with all the colored cubes. Today, she’d be in a short, skintight, cleavage baring dress with the rubix cube image on the front. Not cool. They make a sexy Mr. Potato Head outfit. Who wants to see or be a sexy Mr. Potato Head? Who thinks someone should be a sexy Mr. Potato Head? But I’m not the only one concerned.
Filmmaker Jennifer Siebel Newsom has written and directed the documentary Miss Representation. This film exposes how women are being sold the myth that their worth lies in their beauty and sexuality, and also how this continued sexualization of women in media contributes to women being under-represented in positions of power and influence in America. Watch the trailer. All women and mothers should watch, well, men too – but I think it’s eye-opening and a call to action. And as for my niece, she decided to be Athena, the Greek goddess, for Halloween. Athena was the god of wisdom, courage, strength and inspiration. It’s still a cute long dress with a crown of leaves, but it’s a push in the right direction.
The Zeros Field Guide
The Ambiguously Gay Guy
[conflictious sexualous or homus streisandticus]
A chameleon-like variety of man which causes confusion and frustration in prospective mates; this species tends toward cleanliness, vanity and an inexplicable love of footwear.
See: Ryan Seacrest
The Manslut
[masculus rakehellious]
A feral variety of the male species, known for copulating with a large variety of females. Indigenous to nightclubs, frat houses, and often found in close proximity to reflective surfaces, this nomad is frequently found in packs of other Mansluts. This animal uses its appearance and charms to lure its prey.
Synonyms: Gonorrhea Boy, Mario Lopez or Colin Farrell.
The Verbal Masturbator
[oralivis beat-offitum]
This species spends most of his time with others talking only about himself. Believing his every move is important and must be regaled, and do so, loudly and repeatedly, especially to the woman he believes so lucky to be his date. His unique hearing seems to only be able to discern accolades and the sound of his own voice above everything else.
The Dead Electrician
[disappearaveatum inexplicti]
A rare breed of males that after spending happy, fulfilling, seemingly normal times with a wonderful woman, disappears off the face of the earth and never calls again. Signs of dead electrician disappearing behavior come in coded messages such as ‘I’ll call you later,’ “Let’s make plans for this weekend,” or “I’ll call you Friday when I’m on my way over.”
The Cheapskate
[dutch-treaticus infinitum]
A variety of male that hordes its resources to the detriment of its mate.
The Mirage
[perfectus prevaricatum]
Projects the image of perfection, luring unsuspecting females to the parched dessert of disappointment and despair.
The Big Talker
[bullshitkus perfectus]
An intuitive form of chameleon, this breed can accurately access the needs of potential mates and will verbalize his intentions to meets these needs. He will meet none of these needs.
The “Nice” Guy
[politea blanditus or pleasantillum lacklustericium]
A common species of man that suffers from delusions of nicety as the reason of their inability to secure a mate. Have an inability to admit to their other characteristics such as needy, boring, insecure, socially awkward or bad in bed.
The Virtual Man
[texticus ad nauseus]
The species creates an impression of closeness called a Virtual Relationship through near constant indirect communication. This specifically modern species of man is known for poor grasp of spelling and grammar, and also known for expressing all feelings through emoticons. Anthropologists suspect this genus will, over time, develop engorged thumbs due to excessive texting and may die out do to no actual physical interactions.
The Little Friend
[minusculis shaftivitum]
A species known for their expensive modes of transport, they are endowed with a penis of inadequate size. While this alone does not make them an undesirable potential mate, it doesn’t help. Often this species will attempt to overcompensate their unfortunately small member with an unfortunately large ego.
The Jockstrap
[sporticus obssesum]
The specific male species so obsessed with a sport, their team, their fantasy football league, fantasy baseball league and sports center updates that they have little time for reproduction or even copulation. Experts recognize this species by the excess hot wing consumption and empty pizza boxes littering their female free abodes. Can often be heard from a distance yelling, screaming or cursing their beloved teams.
The Closeted Addict
[bacanalus coverti]
Known for his ability to ingest large amounts of questionable, and often illegal, substances, while giving little indication of this behavior.
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