The Bachelorette Dilemma+comment
During last year’s season of The Bachelor (remember Brad and Emily and all that promise… and by promise I mean a rocky relationship that lasted maybe 4 months), we ran some posts interviewing a former contestant on The Bachelor. Since that post, our site receives hits everyday from people google searching the question “do the contestants sleep with the bachelor/bachelorette?” Apparently that’s all anyone is really concerned with, which makes sense since the show isn’t really about The One. It’s about watching attractive people date under ridiculous circumstances in exotic locations. Of course knowing this was what everybody was concerned with (because when I say I know a girl who was on the show and made it to the final rose ceremony) without fail, people ask if she slept with the guy. Here’s what she said:
I have to ask you the question everyone keeps telling me to ask (and, let’s face it, I totally would have anyway). On the show, we saw you go to the ‘Fantasy Suite’… did you have sex with the Bachelor? No. The only time you have true privacy is when you take the ‘Fantasy Suite’ or go to the hotel with him. I know it sounds cheesy, but we just talked. Honestly. It was the only time to really talk without being filmed or watched. But no, I didn’t sleep with him.
Do you think some women sleep with the Bachelor to stay longer or build their connection with him? Yes, probably. Probably not the juiciest of answers, but I do believe her. I talked to her at length about her experience on The Bachelor. Although she made it to the final show and appeared to have feelings for the guy, she explained that they were more friends than anything else. They lacked that spark, and she thinks she made it as far as she did because he honestly liked hanging out with her. He even told her (after he didn’t choose her) that he knew the woman (the one he chose) he was really interested in early on. And that’s what I think actually happens. The main bachelor/bachelorette knows the one and then just goes through the charade (promoted by marketing and crafty producers) to make the choice seem like it’s ever difficult.
I’ve found that dating more than one person can be tricky, but ultimately beneficial. Because when you date people simultaneously, it becomes very obvious, very quickly, whom you prefer. I find this to be true with anything in life. If someone asks you to choose randomly your favorite meal or book or movie… you sit there thinking, trying to narrow down your choices and pick just one. Or at least I do. But if you compare two things at the same time, two movies, two meals, two books – you know which one you prefer. So I believe all of these “bachelors” and “bachelorettes” may really like some of the contestants and think they are fun, cool people; but get the bachelor/bachelorette alone (which the producers are surely doing), and their gut will give them the answer. And if that’s the case, trust me that people are sleeping together. Either they are sleeping with the one they want (ie. bachelorettes) or they are sleeping with the cool girls, as well as the one they’ll choose (ie. bachelors). That many exotic locales and free booze and who wouldn’t be feeling in the mood – even if you just kind of liked him? They don’t need to meet parents, see hometowns, swing on Polynesian swings or watch a sunset off a private yacht.
Trista (from season one) slept with the Bachelor and wasn’t given the final rose. However she then became the first Bachelorette and met her future husband that she now has children with, so this obviously didn’t hurt her. And from the rumor mill Bachelor Bob (remember the pudgy musician that later married a soap star) was said to have slept with the most contestants. What surprises me most are two things, that we’re still so consumed with “did they do it” and that they still make this show.Ashley (the current Bachelorette) has taken a beating. From hearing guys tell her to her face that they wished she was Chantal or Emily, that they’d rather swim in pee than plan a wedding with her, and say horrible things about her in general, I’d be shocked if Ashley weren’t sleeping with the first guy that was nice to her. And some of these guys are probably just getting a pity fuck from her for not being a total asshole (see Bentley). It happens. But that’s another post.