The Best Pickup Line Ever3comments
The other day my friend was regaling me with a story of a cheesy guy who tried to pick her up using an even cheesier pickup line. She asked me, intending to be rhetorical I’m sure, why men do this and if pickup lines ever work. I had to tell her they do.
Once upon a time, in a bar in Silverlake, my friend and I were having a drink when I noticed three cute guys sitting at the other end of the bar. I guess they noticed us too because a few minutes later the bartender handed me a cocktail napkin. On it was written, “Can I buy you a drink? Check yes or no”, and he’d drawn little boxes next to the ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Adorable. Of course I checked the yes box. We talked for hours and when it was time for my us to leave, I totally gave that guy my phone number. Not my email. I didn’t tell him to look me up on Facebook. I gave my honest to goodness digits.
After I told this story, my friend nodded and agreed that it was a pretty great pick up line (or note), but it didn’t hurt that the guy was cute and that I’d already noticed him. That was true but I imagine he’d used that technique before and most certainly used it after. It was such a line, or his m.o. because he never called.
But I did ask my most actively dating friends to get their best stories about successful pickup lines and got…. nothing. They all had plenty of stories of ones that didn’t work, but not one of them could think of one that did. (My favorite terrible pickup line was “Am I cute enough yet or do you need to drink more?” And after rejecting one guy after he asked her out, one guy said “I get it. You must be bad in bed.” I think this is someone who read The Game and thought “negging” a girl was a good idea. Negging is when men insult a woman to undermine her self-confidence so she might be more vulnerable to your advances.)
I figured it was time to regroup. Maybe I needed to reach out to my friends in great relationships. Maybe one of those great relationships started with a pickup line. It turned out none did. I enlisted the help of social networking, convinced that, just like stories of meeting one’s husband at a bar, or the adorable ‘we met on a blind date’ tales, there had to be a wealth of ‘he had the best pickup line I’d ever heard’ stories. Zero. Zip. I was amazed. For a moment, I worried that I had been too easy a mark. So I then tried to think of other times someone had picked me up with a pickup line and aside from the note at the bar, I couldn’t think of any other time a pickup line ended in anything other than a cringe, polite brush-off or outright hostility.
All that being said, I know for a fact that a lot of the people I asked have, at some point in their lives, met someone at a bar and ended up dating, or at least gone on a date. So how did that happen if it wasn’t a pickup line? Someone had to make first contact, be brave enough to walk the long walk and say something, anything, to a complete stranger. That happens all the time. Right?
So maybe the most successful pickup lines, the only successful pickup lines, are ones that don’t feel like pickup lines at all. Which would explain why no one could give me an example of one… they didn’t feel like they had been picked up. I think pickup lines are like knock-knock jokes – relics of our childhood. In the grown-up world, the way to meet a stranger is to just introduce yourself, and hope for the best. Of course, being really cute doesn’t hurt either.
So, am I wrong? Do you have examples of totally awesome pickup lines that totally worked? If so, I’d love to hear them.