We dated the Zeros… so you don’t have to.

05
January

The Bro Culture: AKA Things I Learned from My Younger Brother

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Happy New Year, dear readers!  I hope your 2012 is starting out on a high note.  Megan wrote an article about New Year’s Resolutions and I have to say that I am one of the ones that make them. However, I do cheat a bit.  I try to make resolutions that I think I’m actually going to be able to accomplish.  For example, my 2012 resolutions are to do yoga twice a week, to read/watch more sci-fi, to buy ink for my printer and to learn a new word every day.

I can thank my brother for already expanding my vocabulary immensely.  He is what is known as a “bro.”  I don’t think this is an offensive term because he refers to himself that way.  From what I understand, a “bro” is a real dude.  The kind of guy that likes beer and buds and babes.  I think that my brother enjoys this subculture with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor, but the “Bro Culture” is growing.  There are lots of websites devoted to it and there’s even a whole set of vocabulary.  So, in the interest of helping to identify potential zeros (I’m sure not every girl wants to be a bro’s girl), here are some terms that you might want to be aware of:

Fratty: Resembling, or having the qualities of, a fraternity.  Example: “My apartment looks totally fratty after Friday’s party.” “Dude, Rachael did seven shots last night.  That’s fratty.”

Bra: Nope, not the supportive undergarment that we’ve all come to know and love.  This refers to a female bro.  A girl who is just one of the guys.

Sorostitute: A woman of loose morals.  Typically a younger woman, who is fond of alcohol and forgotten nights.

Icing: To give a bro a Smirnoff Ice.  Legend has it that the bro code renders him unable to refuse this sugary, girly drink and he must immediately drop to one knee and chug the Ice in your presence.  My sister and I tested this theory on our brother.  So far, it holds water.  (Or Smirnoff, if you prefer.)

Fratterday: A day that is particularly fratty.  Perhaps a party day, perhaps just a day where you day drink brews with your bros while wearing your polo shirt with a popped collar.  A bro’s holy day of obligation, if you will.

Slam Piece: The girlfriend, or significant other, of a bro.  Alternatively, the girl he happens to be sleeping with at this time.  Example: “This is my bro Alex and his slam piece Stephanie.” Oh, yeah.  That’s a thing.  I’ll bet you thought it didn’t get worse than sorostitute, didn’t you?

I think, ultimately, I’m glad I got out of the collegiate state of mind before the bro culture really hit hard.  I dated a fraternity guy and don’t ever remembered being referred to as his “slam piece.”  Thank goodness for small favors?

At least I’m keeping to my New Year’s resolution.  Here’s to self-improvement…even if it does involve learning vocabulary words that you can never actually work in to polite conversation.

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Elisabeth Fitzgerald

About the author: Elisabeth Fitzgerald

Elisabeth Fitzgerald is a Chicago born, Los Angeles based writer. In addition to writing fiction and non-fiction, she also works in the entertainment industry. When not holed up with a pen in her hand or a script at her side, she enjoys Tejano music, vintage clothing and tricking herself into exercising with yoga. Her dislikes catalog a number of prominent ZEROS.

Elisabeth has written 63 articles for us.

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