We dated the Zeros… so you don’t have to.


THE ONE Party Game


A few years ago Claudia and I invented a party game (well, we were at a party when we invented it). And then we got a little too into it, and made every person we know (or met, or sat next to on a train) play. And now we want you to play too.

Here’s the gist…

‘Cast’ a current actor and an actor from the past in each of these three categories: Surrogate Self, Heterosexual lover and Homosexual lover.

For your surrogate self, you don’t have to pick someone who looks like you, or even who you think someone else might cast to play you. Which actor would you want to play you in the movie of your life? It doesn’t have to be logical. Go with your gut. Heterosexual/homosexual lover doesn’t have anything to do with the actor’s actual sexuality, it just means you have to pick a lover of the opposite sex (past and present) and a lover of the same sex (past and present).

I’m not sure why I enjoy playing this game so much, but I love hearing people’s answers. No matter how well you think you know someone, their answers are always surprising. Equally surprising… straight guys almost ALWAYS pick Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt as their homosexual lover.

Here is my current list. It keeps changing, but for now…

Ingrid Bergman is infinitely more glamorous and Swedish than I could ever hope to be. And Catherine Keener is so much cooler than I am, it isn’t even funny. Also,  I realize that these two women are totally different. Would Catherine Keener ever be cast to play Ingrid Bergman? No. I don’t care. I want to be both of them.

This is the hardest category for me, which I think is really weird since I am a heterosexual woman. It gets easier if I can break it down into one-night stand and life partner  (One night stand is totally Paul Newman) But since that’s against the rules (made up rules, but still) I have to go with Jimmy. As far as Jon Stewart goes…. sure there are guys who are better looking, but he’s got the funny, the smarts and he does the best James Garfield ever.

I find my own choices in this category a little strange, but I stick by them. Ginger has great legs and can dance. I defy anyone to watch her sing We’re In The Money in pig latin without falling a little in love with her.For present homosexual lover, I was tempted to pick Michelle Pfeiffer, but I think she might be a little cold. I’m quite convinced that Emma Thompson would be a lot of fun in bed -sure there are younger and hotter ladies out there, but like Stewart, she’s got the humor the smarts and the talent. As far as I’m concerned, that’s as sexy as it gets.

Send us your answers. Who is your fantasy you? Who’s your fictional One (male and female)? Tell tell.


4 Responses to “THE ONE Party Game”

  1. January 21, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    I’ll play:
    Surrogate: Veronica Lake/Scarlett Johansson
    Hetero: Steve McQueen/David Duchovny
    Homo: Betty Grable/Salma Hayek

    • Claudia Maittlen-Harris January 21, 2011 at 2:33 pm

      Amazing choices!! Especially love a Veronica Lake and Betty Grable shout-out. Interesting on Salma. That is one busty duo:)

  2. January 21, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    My Old Hollywood pick was Montgomery Clift, but since he was most likely gay and therefore unattainable in my make-believe hetero scenario, I had to go with Mr. McQueen.

    • Claudia Maittlen-Harris January 25, 2011 at 4:08 pm

      Ah Montgomery Clift is ‘A Place in the Sun’ is almost too beautiful. So sexy, but too tortured. Steve McQueen would be a lot more fun, I imagine.

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