We dated the Zeros… so you don’t have to.


THE ONE party game, part deux


If you haven’t played this game with your friends yet, you totally should. Trust me, the sentence “Pick your Hollywood Casting for Yourself, your Lover and your Homosexual Lover – Past and Present” is quite the party conversation starter.  Try asking men at a party to pick their homosexual famous lover, and it is often met with resistance.  And by lover, I mean husband/life partner.  Why?  Because that’s harder, and harder games are more fun.  If people still resist on the homosexual lover part (although men are very interested to hear your answer), use the “maybe it wouldn’t be difficult to play a silly party game of announcing a fictitious Hollywood lover if you were completely secure in your heterosexuality” reverse  psychology trick.

And yes, men choose Johnny Depp. A lot.  And Michael Jordan a lot more than you’d think.  But I have to say this game keeps the conversation alive like no other.  Things start like this.

New player: “So I can choose anyone past and present as my lover? Cool.”
Me: “Yes. Like Marilyn Monroe or Angelina Jolie.”
New player: “Oh, for sure, Marilyn Monroe.”
Me: “But realize that you get Marilyn’s thrice divorced self-destructive/suicidal nature and Angelina’s 6 kids.”
New player: “Oh, good to think about. So it’s not just sex.”
Me: “Well, since we made up this game, we make the rules and it’s a marriage. So however long you’d give that in your real life (ideally til death do us part), is how long in the game.”
New player: “Ok. That’s much harder…”
And it begins. People start changing their answer, need help remembering the names of older actors. And by past, it doesn’t mean dead – just maybe into their 60’s.  Magnum P.I. may not sound cool as your present lover (Tom Selleck is 65 now), but circa 1982, he was the man.

Megan got her turn last week, so here’s my list.

What past actress would play my life story? Lucille Ball. I’ll never be as funny or as iconic as Lucille Ball, but I can strive right? I just like a woman who can create an empire, be the butt of a joke, and have amazing legs. I also dyed my hair red a few years ago, and it felt sassy (annoying upkeep, but being red is fun).

And my present self? Gwyneth Paltrow.  Not that I think my future holds Academy Awards, a rock star husband and a friendship with Madonna and Jay-Z, but ever since I saw Gwyneth on “Glee” I think she has an inner dork, which is a fair amount of my essence.  Also, why not have the person who plays you be taller, skinnier and way more cool and stylish? A girl can dream.

Past:  Paul Newman. What’s not to love? He was ridiculously handsome, insanely talented, happily married to an amazing woman for 50 years, not to mention I really like his salad dressings. No question. Newman is the answer.
Present: Matt Damon. I’ve had a Damon crush since the Good Will Hunting days, but since then he’s become Jason Bourne, married a single mom, is funny, doesn’t take himself too seriously, is smart, and involved politically and environmentally. There is so much sexiness in all of those traits, I don’t know what to do with myself.

Past: Kathrine Hepburn: She seems smart, fiesty and funny. And I like to wear skirts and she likes to wear pants. Maybe I just love The Philadelphia Story too much. Maybe I could just imitate her funny accent? I don’t know, but I’ll take Kate.
Present: Lucy Liu – I like that’s she tough, fiesty, speaks Mandarin, has art and photography exhibits around the world, but still seems like a bit of a broad. I think I’d want someone sexy but also fun to hang out with, and Lucy is that cool chick to me.
Please play and tell us who you’d choose. It’s very self-revelatory, but in kind of an US Weekly kind of way.


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