We dated the Zeros… so you don’t have to.

22
July

The pop-culture blocker: How much would you pay never to have to hear the name Kardashian again?

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Recently, I was hanging out with my sister and our childhood friend, and we started discussing Claudia’s Facebook article about the downside to the ‘you might know this person’ pop-up feature. All of us agreed that Facebook was extremely naïve in assuming just because you may know someone, that means that you want to be friends with them. As my sister pointed out, Facebook allows you to opt out of seeing certain ads, yet you cannot opt out of continuously being reminded that you ‘might know’ a certain person. She wanted the option, once a person has been shown, to be able to click a discrete ‘yes, I do know that person and would like to not be reminded of that fact constantly’ button. We all agreed that facebook was remiss in not providing this opt-out feature. My sister then decided that what she really wanted was a way to opt out of certain annoying and offensive aspects of popular culture. We all got very excited about this idea.

Imagine there were a service you could subscribe to which would filter out all of the pop culture crap that annoys you most. I feel fairly confident that a great many people would happily pay a monthly fee to never again have to be exposed to anything Kardashian, or maybe Honey Boo Boo, or how about anything associated with a Teen Mom? If someone could figure out a filter on my web browser so that I could safely open up The Huffington Post and not see an article or picture of any of them, I would happily fork over some cash. I’m even okay with the fact that it would filter out some of the articles I’ve written complaining about them on this site. Totally worth it.

Though the internet free of the Kardashian Klan would be a wonderful thing, unfortunately I’d still have to see them on magazine covers and their show would still show up in my TV guide. I’d want the service to go further. I’d like the pop-culture blocker to be able to block the offending subjects from all aspects of my world.

Of course, annoying is in the eye of the beholder (clearly someone watches their shows of their own free will), so there would have to be various packages to which people could subscribe personalized to various pop-culture pet peeves. Personally, I’d opt for the full Reality TV package. I’d pay at least $19.95 a month not to have to ever hear/see a Real Housewife (of anywhere), a Bachelor or Bachelorette, a Teen Mom, or a Big Brother/Survivor/American Idol contestant. Granted, the Reality TV package might be a premium service (Like the HBO of culture-blockers) because of just how much of our pop-culture would have to be blocked.

We all got very excited about this idea and started thinking about other services and packages one could get. I think the Kardashian-blocker would be standard (sort of like the basic cable of culture-blockers). I would also be very interested in the Twilight-removal package. My sister desperately wanted the ‘Secondary political sex scandal’ blocker, whereas our friend was really interested in the ‘Lost the baby weight story’ blocker.  Then my sister, who is much more conservative than I am, decided another great option would be the ‘I don’t care about your political beliefs, I just want to watch your movies’ package. There were so many options! The No-more-Lindsay-Lohan-mug-shots package. The ‘Jenn/Angie/Brad’ package which would filter any stories about ex-couples whose break-up occurred five or more years previously.

Though we know such a service is impossible, we got real pleasure in just imagining all the possibilities.

And so I ask you…

A Zeros Before the One Poll

Were such a service possible, to which $19.95/month pop-culture blocker package would you be willing/wanting to subscribe?

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Are their any pop culture packages we missed? I’d love to hear your ideas.

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