The Post Break-Up DO NOT PLAYLIST7comments
Breaking up is bad. Having a near collision because of your uncontrollable sobbing due to the fact that you were listening to Coldplay is worse. Here’s a starter list of what tunes to steer clear of when you have a broken heart.
1. “I Fall to Pieces” by Patsy Cline – You will fall to pieces everytime you listen to this song.
2. “Everybody Hurts” by R.E.M. – Though it is totally true that everybody hurts sometimes, post break-up, you will exponentially increase the amount of hurt by listening to this song.
3. “I Can’t Live If Living Is Without You” by Air Supply – Fun kitsch when you’re not heartbroken, but you’ll feel like a sucker when you start crying for real.
4. “I’m All Out of Love” by Air Supply – Ditto
5. “You Are Always On My Mind” by Elvis Presley, Willie Nelson or anyone else.
6. “Unbreak My Heart” by Toni Braxton – Actually, don’t listen to this any time. It is terrible.
7. “The Scientist” by Coldplay – Just to be safe, don’t listen to anything by Coldplay. Or Radiohead. They are melancholy on the best of days.
8. “What Hurts The Most “by Rascal Flatts – Most country music is on the danger list – unless it is one of those revenge songs, where the girl is wronged by the dude and then she sets his trailer on fire. In which case… feel free to listen, but please don’t actually damage his property. Think you’re feeling bad now? Jail time will not make things better.
9. “Nothing Compares to You” by Sinead O’Connor – It will make you sob. And possibly shave your head.
10. “Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone” by Bill Withers – Such a great song, but shelve it until you’re feeling much, much better.
11. “I Will Always Love You” by Dolly Parton or Whitney Houston or anyone else.
12. “Love Hurts” by Gram Parsons and Emmylou Harris. Achingly beautiful, but when you are already sad, this song is not a good idea.
13. “Teardrops” by Womack & Womack – See the above Rascal Flatts comment.
14. “Breath” Me by Sia – Again, great song. Not great when you’re heartbroken.
15. “Without You” by anyone, but especially Mariah Carey – Just don’t. Don’t turn yourself into a blubbering Bridget Jones-esque cliche.
16. Any song in a Zach Braff movie. He’s got good taste in music but he’s quite the Debbie Downer.
17. “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor – You will survive, and you might think blasting this song and singing along at the top of your voice will empower and heal you. Unfortunately, it will most likely lead to a night filled with angry karaoke and the inevitable and mortifying drunk call to the ex where you may or may not (gasp) sing about the fact that you will survive.
Obviously, we’ve only scratched the surface with our Do Not Playlist. Please give us your suggestions, or even the random song that totally brought you to your knees. (I have a fairly embarrassing CatPower moment, that I’m still trying to live down).