We dated the Zeros… so you don’t have to.

27
January

The Post Break-Up DO NOT PLAYLIST

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Breaking up is bad.  Having a near collision because of your uncontrollable sobbing due to the fact that you were listening to Coldplay is worse. Here’s a starter list of what tunes to steer clear of when you have a broken heart.

1. “I Fall to Pieces” by Patsy Cline – You will fall to pieces everytime you listen to this song.

2. “Everybody Hurts” by R.E.M. – Though it is totally true that everybody hurts sometimes, post break-up, you will exponentially increase the amount of hurt by listening to this song.

3. “I Can’t Live If Living Is Without You” by Air Supply – Fun kitsch when you’re not heartbroken, but you’ll feel like a sucker when you start crying for real.

4. “I’m All Out of Love” by Air Supply – Ditto

5. “You Are Always On My Mind” by Elvis Presley, Willie Nelson or anyone else.

6. “Unbreak My Heart” by Toni Braxton – Actually, don’t listen to this any time. It is terrible.

7. “The Scientist” by Coldplay – Just to be safe, don’t listen to anything by Coldplay. Or Radiohead. They are melancholy on the best of days.

8. “What Hurts The Most “by Rascal Flatts – Most country music is on the danger list – unless it is one of those revenge songs, where the girl is wronged by the dude and then she sets his trailer on fire. In which case… feel free to listen, but please don’t actually damage his property. Think you’re feeling bad now? Jail time will not make things better.

9. “Nothing Compares to You” by Sinead O’Connor – It will make you sob. And possibly shave your head.

10. “Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone” by Bill Withers – Such a great song, but shelve it until you’re feeling much, much better.

11. “I Will Always Love You” by Dolly Parton or Whitney Houston or anyone else.

12. “Love Hurts” by Gram Parsons and Emmylou Harris. Achingly beautiful, but when you are already sad, this song is not a good idea.

13. “Teardrops” by Womack & Womack – See the above Rascal Flatts comment.

14. “Breath” Me by Sia – Again, great song. Not great when you’re heartbroken.

15. “Without You” by anyone, but especially Mariah Carey – Just don’t. Don’t turn yourself into a blubbering Bridget Jones-esque cliche.

16. Any song in a Zach Braff movie. He’s got good taste in music but he’s quite the Debbie Downer.

17. “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor – You will survive, and you might think blasting this song and singing along at the top of your voice will empower and heal you. Unfortunately, it will most likely lead to a night filled with angry karaoke and the inevitable and mortifying drunk call to the ex where you may or may not (gasp) sing about the fact that you will survive.

Obviously, we’ve only scratched the surface with our Do Not Playlist. Please give us your suggestions, or even the random song that totally brought you to your knees.  (I have a fairly embarrassing CatPower moment, that I’m still trying to live down).

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7 Responses to “The Post Break-Up DO NOT PLAYLIST”

  1. January 27, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    Personally, I think Harry Nilsson performed the most heartbreaking version of #13. Which is also #3.

    Shout out on #12. Most people don’t know this version of the song.

    Nothing Compares 2 U. Prince wrote it, after all…

  2. January 27, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    er…sorry, that should have been #15 rather than #13.

  3. Megan Gray January 27, 2011 at 2:11 pm

    I don’t think I’ve ever heard Prince sing Nothing Compares, but I will seek it out for sure. If you haven’t heard Jimmy Scott’s version, you should. It makes Sinead’s seem downright bouncy.

  4. January 27, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOVP7GHJLII

    Hurry up and watch it, Megan, because when Prince finds out it’s on youtube, it’s curtains…

  5. Megan Gray January 27, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    Ah yes. Now I remember! There are so many great songs not included in this list – wasn’t meant to be definitive, just a jumping off point – BUT, I was totally remiss in not adding I Can’t Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt. Listening to that song if you are sad is pure masochism as its finest.

  6. Claudia Maittlen-Harris January 28, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    I know I’m treading lightly as your two music tastes are so much more encompassing and cooler than mine, but I just watched Prince’s version (I at least knew he wrote it), and I LOVE that man. He just makes everything cool. Although he can become a Bravo Real Housewife with all the botox, injectables and filler he’s had in that face. He looks younger than in Purple Rain.

  7. February 16, 2012 at 10:41 am

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsWsasqIoyk&ob=av2e

    Almost Lover by a Fine Frenzy

    the only thing that’s come close to the fetal position ugly cry that came after listining to this in recent years has been “someone like you”.

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