We dated the Zeros… so you don’t have to.

15
March

Unintentional Tear Jerkers

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Who doesn’t love a good cry?  It’s cathartic and good for the soul.  However, sometimes you don’t want something that’s going to out and out depress you.  A good cry is cleansing, but watching “Terms of Endearment” over and over just makes me want to open a vein.  Claudia covered the best unrequited love stories and we’ve talked about slyly romantic movies.  Now, let’s take a look at movies that aren’t supposed to make you cry but probably will anyway.  Warning!  Spoilers ahead.  You’ve been warned.

1. Up

The beginning of Up is a crowning achievement in Pixar’s glory.  With only a montage, we see Carl Frederickson’s life and marriage unfold before us—the good and the bad.  We see how he and his wife fell in love, got married, struggled (unsuccessfully) to have a family and then were separated by her death.  It’s beautiful, moving and less than five minutes long.  However, if you aren’t weeping at the end of that scene…well, you may want to check your pulse.

2. Dirty Dancing

“What?” you’re saying. “Dirty Dancing ends well!  How is it a tear jerker?” The story in and of itself isn’t sad, but it reminds us of what we lost when Patrick Swayze died.  I can’t even watch the film since we lost our beloved Johnny Castle.  Thank you, Patrick Swayze, for giving us the time of our lives and making us cry.

 

3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One

Claudia had mentioned Harry Potter on her all-time favorite unrequited love stories, and I couldn’t agree more.   It’s also one of the best tear jerkers out there.  The whole of the second movie (slash second half of the last book) is a total sob fest.  However, the part that made me cry (and earned me weird looks) was the death of Dobby the house elf.  Some people wrote off Dobby as a Jar Jar Binks type.  I always saw him as a pet and protector for the Hogwarts crew…and it really tugged at my heartstrings when we lost him.

4. Gigli

How, you may ask, is this a tear jerker?  If you’ve actually made yourself sit through this film (and I use the word loosely) then you know that it’s one of the worst disasters ever to hit cinemas.  And that is why it’s a tear jerker.  Come on!  It nearly destroyed the careers of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.  Plus, it unleashed Bennifer 1.0 onto the world.  If that doesn’t make you want to weep for society, than nothing will.

 

5. The Bodyguard

The end of this movie is rather sad, anyway.  It’s a love story without a happy ending and those are sure to bring tears to your eyes.  However, recent events have put this movie into “Dirty Dancing” territory.   Oh, Whitney Houston.  You will be missed.  The Bodyguard was one of the highlights of her career.  She was on top of the world.  She was THE diva.  She was WHITNEY.  Everyone owned the soundtrack and everyone belted out “I Will Always Love You” into a hairbrush (admit it).  Watching The Bodyguard brings tears to my eyes…not just for the characters, but for the life that could have been.

 

 

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Elisabeth Fitzgerald

About the author: Elisabeth Fitzgerald

Elisabeth Fitzgerald is a Chicago born, Los Angeles based writer. In addition to writing fiction and non-fiction, she also works in the entertainment industry. When not holed up with a pen in her hand or a script at her side, she enjoys Tejano music, vintage clothing and tricking herself into exercising with yoga. Her dislikes catalog a number of prominent ZEROS.

Elisabeth has written 63 articles for us.

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