We dated the Zeros… so you don’t have to.

05
July

When you hate your friend’s boyfriend

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A friend of mine recently told me that she is divorcing her husband of three years for reasons too plentiful and too personal to her for me to go into. Though I’m sorry for all the pain that she is going through, I can’t say I’m surprised. Back when they were still dating, before they had even thought about getting engaged, I had a strong feeling their relationship would end, and would end badly. I even said it out loud to a number of people… just not to my friend. And now I’m left wondering if I’d been more open with her, if I’d shared my observations and fears way back when she first started dating her soon-to-be ex-husband, could she have avoided some of the suffering she’s experiencing now?

I’m someone who is predisposed to like my friend’s boyfriends. I want my friends to be happy. Which is not to say that every guy my friends have ever dated has been someone I wanted to spend a lot of time with, (and they’d definitely say the same about a bunch of guys I dated) but that doesn’t matter… as long as the guys treat my girls well. But what about those times when the guy doesn’t treat your friend the way you feel she should be treated. What about when your friend seems less happy in the relationship that she was before it? Of course, if one of my friends was in a dangerous or abusive situation, I would not hesitate to kidnap my friend if that’s what it took to keep her safe even if it meant she cut me out of her life forever. But what about when the damage being done is less clear cut and obvious? What about, in the case of my friend, when you think she’s making a huge mistake? Is there anything you should do? Is there anything you can do?

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