We dated the Zeros… so you don’t have to.


What is Your Drinking Personality? Grumpy? Dopey? Bashful? Happy?


Women love a good Girls’ Night Out. From book clubs, wine tastings, “The Bachelor” viewings, to entire Vegas weekends – you name it. If you can rally the girls together (at times a Herculean effort) you’re bound to have a good time. That being said, you give women alcohol, shots, sexy outfits and dance music and you never know exactly what you’re going to get. Or who.

I’ve discovered that lurking in every woman is her inner Snow White and the Seven Dwarf character. If she gets drunk enough, she’s bound to eventually turn into Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Bashful, Dopey or Doc. When Disney named these lovable, hard-working but messy little men, he encapsulated an emotional archetype. One of them is just sitting dormant and if she drinks too many vodka cranberries or fireball shots… watch out.

A breakdown of the Seven Dwarves and the Seven Personalities of Partying (thank you Disney!):

Happy:  This girl is very excited to go out.  She is the first to ‘woo-hoo’ and buy a round of shots.  She has been anxiously awaiting the girls’ night out for ages and is going to make it count.  The entire outfit was planned a week ago, and basically she is in it to win it.

Sleepy:  This girl is less likely to dance or get crazy, but she’ll drink and laugh and chat until the point where sleep hits her. Not wanting to be a party-pooper, you’ll find her sitting upright at the bar with her eyes completely closed.  Is she napping? Is she resting? Is she wasted? You’re  not sure.  If you wake her, she’ll rally for a bit with “I’m good. I’m good.” She wants to party with her girlfriends, if she doesn’t fall asleep before the night ends.

Sneezy:  There’s only one thing that makes you sneezy in a club, and that would be drugs. This chick may be on coke, or she might be on Adderal. Possibly she smoked some weed before you even met up. Either way she’s got drugs or she knows where find them anywhere, and she considers the girls’ night out the perfect excuse.

Dopey:  This is the girl that, in the course of the evening, loses her purse, her phone, her ID, maybe even a shoe.  She parties blissfully through the night unconcerned about her belongings while her friends just try to make sure she makes it home.  She’ll have long conversations with total creeper guys, and she has a tendency to wander off. Best word of advice: keep an eye on Dopey.

Grumpy:  You never know what it is that will set her off. It could be overpriced drinks, some asshole who won’t take ‘we’re just trying to have fun with the girls’ as an answer, a rude waitress, or maybe her feet just hurt. But at some point in the night, she’s going to get pissy and will let everyone know about it. Sometimes you come back from the dance floor and she’s in a heated argument with a guy. Sometimes more alcohol solves this problem, but sometimes additional booze will turn her from Grumpy to Asshole. Either way, keep her away from Jager or tequila if at all possible.

Bashful: She’s quiet, a little shy, usually stunning but totally willing to party when everyone gets together.  Bashful is a secret weapon because she says so little, bats those eyes and men think she’s amazing. And she is. Bashful draws in men like flies, and free drinks abound.  Bashful is a necessary element to the group because she goes along with any decision and keeps a healthy balance when Grumpy loses her shit and Dopey disappears.

Doc: This girl takes care of the strays.  She makes sure Sleepy wakes up and Dopey gets her purse.  She holds your hair when anyone pukes, and she signs your credit card slip for you and puts the receipt in your wallet.  Every group of girls needs their Doc if they want to make it home safely.  Doc is necessary in any girl group. Without a Doc, regrets and roofies may be in your party future.
And just for full disclosure –  I’m a mix of Happy and Doc.  Megan is usually Sleepy.


5 Responses to “What is Your Drinking Personality? Grumpy? Dopey? Bashful? Happy?”

  1. Megan Gray August 11, 2011 at 11:34 am

    It is true, that of the 7, I’m Sleepy (with a little bit of Grumpy and Doc thrown in). But actually, I think I am the 8th Dwarf…The one who decided cohabitation with that many Dwarfs is a bit much so instead moved into a little studio in town and invites the other Dwarfs over (but only one or two at a time, it is a studio after all) for a glass of wine and a cheese plate.

  2. Elisabeth Fitzgerald August 11, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    I too am a Happy/Doc combo, although probably more Doc. I make sure eveyone makes it home with their credit cards, IDs, mobiles and keys intact.

  3. August 14, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    Ilove this article. I’d like to think I’m Happy but honestly I’ve been all of them. Dopey is only the nights when I approach drinking as if it were an extreme sport.

  4. Anna Keizer August 16, 2011 at 1:26 am

    Great post! I’m a Happy/Sleepy/Doc combo (but it all depends on 1) how much I’ve eaten before we go out and 2) if mixed alcohol is introduced at some point in the evening).

  5. November 6, 2013 at 3:31 pm


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