Who should pay on the first date?6comments
I was out to dinner with a friend the other night and at the table next to me was a man and women on a first date. I always find the dynamics of first dates fascinating and it was so hard not to watch them as if I was at the movies.
For the most part I succeeded in not eavesdropping, but when their check came, I couldn’t help myself. I was curious how paying for the meal would go down. There was a time when a man wouldn’t even think of asking his date to pay for her own meal. Times have changed and the rules have changed too. We just don’t always know what they are anymore.
The check sat between them for a while. Eventually, there was a lull in the conversation. The man then reached for the check, the woman reached for her purse, and since he didn’t wave her off, they both ended up throwing down their credit cards and splitting the bill 50/50. To my surprise, I found myself judging the guy a little. And then I judged myself for judging him. After all, I have no idea the circumstances that lead to the first date – it is totally possible that she invited him.
Every single woman I know has a job, pays her own bills and is very capable of picking up the check. Though I am a firm believer that when two people are dating, they should share the expense of eating out – be it splitting the check or, as I like to do, taking turns who pays – something in me is old fashioned enough to believe that on the first date, especially if he is the one that did the asking, the man should pay. Am I wrong? In this day and age, is the expectation that the man should pay for dinner on the first date totally outdated?