We dated the Zeros… so you don’t have to.

29
July

Who Will The Bachelorette Choose? (oh, I mean, sleep with)

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rs_300x300-130419111605-600.bach.ls.41913A while back I interviewed a former contestant on “The Bachelor.” Do you know what everyone wants to know? Did she sleep with the Bachelor (she made it to the final two). Yep, that’s it. We’re not watching someone find love. We are watching the longest, televised session of foreplay ever.

Who Des will sleep with? Since she’s had the hots for Brooks from day one and already announced she’s in love with him, I’m guessing she’ll definitely want to share a fantasy suite with Brooks. However, Brooks is from Salt Lake and has 10 siblings, he’s obviously Mormon. Good luck with that one Des. A religion that doesn’t allow alcohol, coffee or premarital sex, and is very patriarchal. Fun times. (Sorry but come on!) Not that Mormons aren’t wonderful, warm, kind people. But if Des doesn’t think religion won’t impact their relationship, well, that’s why they’ll break up approximately 8-12 months after the show. She should choose Chris in my opinion (or at least sleep with him because she probably won’t get much of that with Brooks). I kid. I kid (kind of).

Whatever drama ABC has cooked up, amidst the beachside tears and promos of Des bawling, I think the final two will be Brooks and Chris. And Des will choose Brooks. Why? Because they always choose who they are the most attracted to rather than who is the best fit for them. (See Jake and Vienna)

But back to sex on the Bachelorette and Bachelor shows, according to anonymously quoted producers of the show (yes, that’s the journalistic integrity of yahoo! news), each Bachelor sleeps with an average of 3-5 women during the course of the show. And according to former Bachelorette winner Jesse Csincsak, “the Bachelorette always sleeps with the final two, and I’ve heard this season was no different” (referring to Emily’s season). Jesse notes, “The problem of hooking up with both finalists has been the downfall of many of the show’s engagements.” This comes from a man who was chosen by a Bachelorette from 25 devoted guys only to break up with her and then marry a girl who had been on another season of The Bachelor. This show feels like high school – except everyone here is good looking and has a six-pack. While Sean’s season promoted him as a born-again virgin and Emily as a good girl with a daughter to think about, I still think more happened that we didn’t see.

Because according to my completely sound and impartial investigative skills (google and what my friend told me), the Bachelors sleep with 3-4 women and a Bachelorette sleeps with at least one guy if not two? Coming from a girl with basic math skills, but a good understanding of women and dating, I’d say that sounds statistically correct. We’ll see, but you heard my predictions here first! Who do you think she’ll choose, but who should she/will sleep with!

 

 

 

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