With the Superbowl Upon Us – It’s a Fantasy League Wrap Up+comment
Broken Pussy Finger (Saturday Night Fever reference, anyone?)
Schweddy Balls (that’s me)
Two Lohans, One Cup
36 and Pregnant (take that Teen Moms – some ladies don’t get knocked up in high school)
Fuck You Anne Hathaway (it’s personal with her)
Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Kunkaington (a personalized Kate Middleton mashup).
Am I bitter? Of course. My first round draft pick, Angelina Jolie, who is usually good for at least 1 or 2 covers didn’t get me shit. Even with her frail, breakable body, those mesmerizing lips, her sexy partner Brad and all those adorable kids? Nada.
Luckily our league is like a 5th grade soccer team. No one goes home empty handed. Everyone is nominated for at least one award. While I surrendered my first place 2010 winning trophy to 36 & Pregnant with her Kardashian domination, I got two nominations and one win! Woo-hoo. (All nominations had a Kardashian theme since 2011 was definitely their year and because our Commish makes every Super Bowl dinner unique).
I won (as Schweddy Balls) the Kim Kardashian Love ‘Em and Leave ‘Em Award for most team changes. I’m a fickle player and not afraid to ditch the like of Chaz Bono to pick up Kellen Lutz to capitalize on some sweet Twilight media blitz. (Or some such trade).
Sadly, I lost out on the Bruce Jenner WTF Award for outstanding achievement in utter confusion. My first win, was just math, this one was subjective. I had stiff competition. The nominees were:
Fuck You Anne Hathaway for dreaming she picked up Angelina Jolie’s hat and waking up in a panic.
Two Lohans, One Cup for dropping and adding Jennifer Garner and Scarlett Johansson three times in one day.
Schweddy Balls for neither knowing who was on her team nor who was available to be dropped/added.
It gets messy in the league and sometimes we all get a little confused. I lost this award to Fuck You Anne Hathaway. I’m still jealous Angelina Jolie actually did her some good.