We dated the Zeros… so you don’t have to.

15
June

Worst Celebrity Dads – Another Reason To Call Your Dad on Sunday For Not Being These Guys

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This Sunday is Father’s Day, and while we do spend a significant amount of time discussing which guys are Zeros, we feel equally strongly that there are a hell of a lot of great guys and great dads out there.  So be sure to get something in the mail, call, visit and thank your dad.

However, it did get us thinking about the not-so-great dads. No one said parenthood was easy, but leave it to celebrities to take horrible behavior and unleash it on their helpless children – worse for the kids because it is made so public.  Here is our list of current Worst Celebrity Dad’s – they could use some work, possibly counseling, a 12-step program, or just years of apologizing to their kids.

1. David Hasselhoff
He may be the “Hoff” but his drinking problems have proved difficult for this two daughters. When your dad made his fame talking to cars, running on beaches and with an unfathomable European singing career, there would be some admitted embarrassment for a teenager. However, it was Hasselhoff’s drunken incident videotaped by his daughter begging him to stop drinking that really hurt.

2. Alec Baldwin
While Baldwin is a talented actor (who doesn’t love Jack Donaghy on “30 Rock”),  his irrational, anger-spewing rant to his 11-year old daughter eroded his charm and trust with the public, and I’m sure, his daughter. Yes, divorces get messy, and Alec wouldn’t be the first to start to hate his ex. However, yelling into your child’s voicemail that she is “a rude, thoughtless pig” and “you don’t have the brains or the decency as a human being” could land her in therapy for years to come.

3. Charlie Sheen
No kid wants a dad with serious substance abuse problems who spends a lot of his adult life in and out of rehab (even if he is worth tens of millions and coins the term “winning”).  But when your dad decides the best parenting method is to raise his toddler twin boys with his two live-in porn star girlfriends, (the ‘goddesses’ ) things could get seriously complicated.  Not to mention, that these two sons have a drug addict for a mother and a father not afraid to draw a knife on mom.  Let’s hope all that tiger blood and warlockness has made Charlie sterile.

4. Mel Gibson
Remember when Mel was just a movie star with a long-time wife and seven kids? Ah, the 80’s. The cracks began to show in Gibson’s character with this DUI, homophobic rants, and evidence of his “bad temper.”  The top was ripped off when Gibson’s graphic, violent phone messages to his girlfriend and mother of his baby daughter were leaked. Way to push a little girl towards the stripper pole and/or a crack pipe.  Also, threatening to kill the mother of his 8th child makes visitation drop-offs very difficult.

5. Michael Lohan
Dueling mug shots should never be a goal between a father and daughter. Michael Lohan has been in and out of jail most of his adult life, has serious substance abuse problems, and has been arrested for domestic abuse countless times.  Almost worse that that, he never misses an opportunity to use his daughter’s fame for his own profit. When he’s not being arrested, in court, or on probation, he’s shamelessly betraying his daughter’s privacy and milking her fame for himself.

6. Arnold Schwarzenegger
For years the Schwarzenegger/Shriver marriage seemed pretty enviable.  But for his kids to find out he’d fathered an illegitimate son with his housekeeper and kept it silent for a decade, that’s pretty shitty. Keeping the housekeeper working for the family knowing the son was his was even worse.  Children can have trust issues regardless – way to make your kids never want to trust anyone ever again.  

 

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